Recently an acquaintance posed this very question. After little pondering, my immediate thought was the very definition of insanity- doing the same thing over and over again, each time expecting a different result. So if you are stuck in the proverbial hamster wheel, running around in circles, going absolutely nowhere, then it would seem to me that running around in circles and insanity are one and the same.
How do we get off the hamster wheel? Change the route, run around in squares? Truthfully, I had high hopes that the very act of moving would accomplish many things, none of which had to do with finances. A clean slate, a fresh start. And yet each day I find myself running in circles still only now I do not have the projects that kept me sane and occupied.
Upon moving, I thought that it would be a difficult adjustment for my girls. I was in such a state of perpetual motion leading up to said move, the sale of the house that I did not wish to sell and all that entails, the move itself. Once left in this new space with nothing but boxes to keep me occupied I found it increasingly difficult to stay motivated. On the logistical side, finding new homes for all the things we posess has proven to be a challenge having lost about 800 square feet and a garage. Oh how I miss the garage! And looking around, I know we do not need so many Barbie dolls… but still. I felt deflated, and each day I lament upon how much I miss my home. And I need to ask myself why that is so.
I convinced myself and my children that a house is just a bunch of walls, that it is only a home once we made it so. And we are finally, slowly but surely making it home again. To that end, I doubt anyone who knows me would find it at all suprising that I decided that the ginormous sectional really belonged in the den. And as I have placed myself on the self-imposed island again, I actually moved the sectional into the den, and the other sofa into the living room. To the wide-eyed suprise of my girls…. on of whom said "Mom, are you going to pick up the whole house next?" Yes, I seemed to have found the same super woman strength that one might need to say, lift a car off of one's child, to move these large peices of furniture by myself. And this act in and of itself prompted the opening of the box with the things that do make a home… the photos, the little decorative items that we like to strew about. It was time to make this house a home by doing what I know how to do, take control, not wait around for the help I have been asking for and just find a way and do it.
So while I still feel a bit like a hamster, for today I am going to attempt to extricate myself from the wheel. Change things, perhaps running in squares for a few days instead of circles. Better to keep moving then to run in place. And perhaps take a cue from my children, it is only a house after all. And at the end of the day, people are more important than houses and things. Running, circles or squares… sometimes it is okay to just sit and be still for a moment, and stop all that running around.
-Charmed, I am Sure
PS Again, for your listening pleasure….
PPS After reading this post, a friend looked at the question another way…. who says running around in circles isn't actually fun?? Any comments?? Well played my friend.